Crossed Hearts Dedication

I'm getting a little emotional as I set the words to paper because the journey from concept to implementation has truly been a labor of love. 

The idea for this shop came to me a few years ago as a possible way to supplement my existing income and what better way to do that than it be something I love and has brought me a lifetime of enjoyment?  I began talking to my favorite partner in crime, my brother, about the idea and we immediately began to formulate a plan but to be honest, it was only just a plan for a couple of years.

He was already a small business owner so he helped me plot, plan, re-plan, and plot some more about how to make this thing happen.  Although we were living miles away from each other at the time, we usually talked every day, even if it was only a text or social media message.  We were very close. 

Then, there were five months in 2020 that would change our lives forever. 

In May of 2020, my happy, healthy, full-of-life brother was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer.  I made the difficult decision to quit my job and move home to help care for him. We spent the Summer doing some of the things we loved to do best, talking, laughing, listening to music, and just being together.  We talked about our plans for the future, this business, his business, and we promised that when this was over, we were going to learn to have and enjoy the life that God gave us.

On October 27, 2020, he went home to be with Jesus.

This past year has been a huge time of adjustment for all of us.  There were times I felt a little lost, not sure if I was still me without him.  Missing him fiercely.  Replaying those last months over and over in my mind.  Wishing I could have one more day.  All of the things we do when the people we love most in the world go on before us.  That being said, we are not without hope and it's that hope that has enabled me to continue on.  

I never really understood when people said their loved one didn't feel that far away from them after they passed.  How is that possible when they aren't here?  I understand now. 

I think about what he would do when I'm faced with a decision I've never had to make before without his input, I laugh when I know he would find something funny, and I love because he was THE best at making the people he cared about feel loved. 

My brother was one of the most hilarious people I ever met.  He could make me laugh like no other. Where I had sharp edges, his were smooth.  Where I was timid, he was bold.

He was a son, a father, an uncle, a friend, an entrepreneur, an entertainer but most importantly he loved well and was well-loved.  I will miss him every day but seeing this dream become reality is my way of honoring his life and the legacy he left to me and all those who love him. 

The one thing I never did in all of this was wonder what I was going to do next.  We had already set the wheels in motion, dreamed the dreams, made the plans. Now it's my turn to keep the promises.  Cross my heart. 

I love you, Howard.  You make me brave.  Until we meet again...